So, in my first quarter of art school, I discovered that the consequence of a job well done is that your professor ends up holding your pieces hostage because they don't want to give them back to you and/or they're using them in a faculty rating system until the second week of the next quarter. This is why my portfolio photo album has not been updated.
I am flattered, yet slightly annoyed because I have no photograph of them, thus no evidence that I completed them, in case something happens. The professor and I compromised and agreed that they would photograph my pieces and email them to me so that I can at least have that security.
I'm not used to such a level of appreciation. Feels odd, in a good way.
Thursday, March 20, 2008
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Awakening
I realized lately that I have a bad attitude based on a majority of the people in this society. Most of the people I come into contact with spend a majority of their time watching T.V., talking on the phone with no real aim, text messaging, shopping for really expensive stylish things, obsessing over having the latest whatever, or sleeping. These same people complain a lot. They complain they have no time and that they don't know what they want to do with their lives. They complain that there's nothing to do when the electricity goes out, that they're freezing their butts off when their stylish clothes don't keep them warm at all, that their feet hurt from the heeled boots and shoes they wear all the time, and that they're broke - yet they won't get a job and they won't spend their money (sometimes borrowed money) on things that matter, like healthy food. Yeah. They complain that they're hungry or tired all the time, yet they don't see that what they eat on a daily basis has almost no nutritional value and is usually more expensive because it comes in single-serving packages, which create more garbage than a single person should reasonably produce.
Most people seem so germophobic that it's pretty much backfiring on themselves and the environment. They own an insane amount of clothing and towels because they don't think they can wear something more than once nor wipe clean water off their bodies and reuse the towel after it's dry - dude, that's a lot of laundry. They use the most toxic chemicals in large quantities to clean with that cost so much - vinegar and lemon juice are so awesome for cleaning and freshening the air...and they're cheap and non-toxic! The word "reusable" is almost unheard of. Everything seems to be disposable and so many people seem to be drawn into it. How about washable cleaning cloths, reusable containers, lunch boxes, ceramic dishes, silverware, a Brita for purified water? What a waste of money and resources! Oh, and in contrast these people don't clean up after themselves. They litter, leave crumbs or garbage where they've just eaten or made food, leave dirt trails when they could've wiped their feet or removed their shoes. They also don't seem to know what creates mildew - they only know how to kill it. Try letting things dry properly, people.
I go to school with people who live this way, and their work ethic is usually analogous to their living habits. Their efforts in school consist of going to class and maybe being on time, scrambling at the last minute to get an assignment done because it wasn't important enough to start early. They don't even think about doing extracurricular work, nor attending any clubs or events relating to their major or industry. Yet they think they're somehow going to make it big. And if they don't make it big, they think it's the school's fault or bad luck. Get off your butt and want this, people! If you don't want it badly enough to do it in your free time, why are you bothering? I could see this as lack of competition though and know that working my butt off the way that I am is going to pretty much guarantee success in my industry. I just find it so hard to watch others waste time and money.
*sigh*
I feel so alone. I feel like the worst person in the world for letting these things get to me, letting them literally ruin my morning, afternoon, evening...day, and for harboring something that could turn into resentment toward a lot of people I don't even know. I feel like I have this "greater than thou" attitude brewing that I don't want. I am not better than others, I know that. I just don't understand the logic in living the way they do. I'm on an entirely different plane. I think a lot of it comes from spending the past couple years and especially the past six months working on myself and my life, busting my butt for betterment. I realized there were ways I could live healthier and remove the irritants that were bothering my sinuses and skin. I realized I could save a ton of money while eating more simply/healthily, making my own skin-friendly laundry detergent, and owning reusable things. I also realized that there were a lot of things around me that just plain didn't matter in the long run even if the pressure from the media argued otherwise. What matters most is my health, my spirituality, my family, and what I can contribute to the world. I also realized that when I am unhappy about something, I need to find a solution and take action and that's the end of it. If I don't know something, I look for the answer. What's the use in complaining? If I tell others about a problem, it's because I think they might be able to help me solve it.
*sigh*
It seems that the more I better myself, the more I am tested to tolerate those who haven't bothered or don't see the point. This is most difficult, and I wonder if it's a problem I'll be able to overcome. I certainly hope so because this frustration cannot be good for my soul. The way others choose to live their lives is not my load to bear, even if I have to share their space and sometimes walk in their wake. Please God, help me to let go.
Most people seem so germophobic that it's pretty much backfiring on themselves and the environment. They own an insane amount of clothing and towels because they don't think they can wear something more than once nor wipe clean water off their bodies and reuse the towel after it's dry - dude, that's a lot of laundry. They use the most toxic chemicals in large quantities to clean with that cost so much - vinegar and lemon juice are so awesome for cleaning and freshening the air...and they're cheap and non-toxic! The word "reusable" is almost unheard of. Everything seems to be disposable and so many people seem to be drawn into it. How about washable cleaning cloths, reusable containers, lunch boxes, ceramic dishes, silverware, a Brita for purified water? What a waste of money and resources! Oh, and in contrast these people don't clean up after themselves. They litter, leave crumbs or garbage where they've just eaten or made food, leave dirt trails when they could've wiped their feet or removed their shoes. They also don't seem to know what creates mildew - they only know how to kill it. Try letting things dry properly, people.
I go to school with people who live this way, and their work ethic is usually analogous to their living habits. Their efforts in school consist of going to class and maybe being on time, scrambling at the last minute to get an assignment done because it wasn't important enough to start early. They don't even think about doing extracurricular work, nor attending any clubs or events relating to their major or industry. Yet they think they're somehow going to make it big. And if they don't make it big, they think it's the school's fault or bad luck. Get off your butt and want this, people! If you don't want it badly enough to do it in your free time, why are you bothering? I could see this as lack of competition though and know that working my butt off the way that I am is going to pretty much guarantee success in my industry. I just find it so hard to watch others waste time and money.
*sigh*
I feel so alone. I feel like the worst person in the world for letting these things get to me, letting them literally ruin my morning, afternoon, evening...day, and for harboring something that could turn into resentment toward a lot of people I don't even know. I feel like I have this "greater than thou" attitude brewing that I don't want. I am not better than others, I know that. I just don't understand the logic in living the way they do. I'm on an entirely different plane. I think a lot of it comes from spending the past couple years and especially the past six months working on myself and my life, busting my butt for betterment. I realized there were ways I could live healthier and remove the irritants that were bothering my sinuses and skin. I realized I could save a ton of money while eating more simply/healthily, making my own skin-friendly laundry detergent, and owning reusable things. I also realized that there were a lot of things around me that just plain didn't matter in the long run even if the pressure from the media argued otherwise. What matters most is my health, my spirituality, my family, and what I can contribute to the world. I also realized that when I am unhappy about something, I need to find a solution and take action and that's the end of it. If I don't know something, I look for the answer. What's the use in complaining? If I tell others about a problem, it's because I think they might be able to help me solve it.
*sigh*
It seems that the more I better myself, the more I am tested to tolerate those who haven't bothered or don't see the point. This is most difficult, and I wonder if it's a problem I'll be able to overcome. I certainly hope so because this frustration cannot be good for my soul. The way others choose to live their lives is not my load to bear, even if I have to share their space and sometimes walk in their wake. Please God, help me to let go.
Sunday, March 02, 2008
Through the Looking Glass
Today was the first day of the Baha'i fasting period, which lasts for nineteen days from March 2nd through March 20. March 21st marks the Baha'i New Year and the end of The Fast.
The first day of the Fast, for me, was not picture perfect. I did not wake before dawn to pray and eat, as was my intent. I have been suffering from insomnia for the past month and last night was no exception. I did not fall asleep until about 3:00am and somehow I missed the 5:00am alarm. I am guessing my subconscious mind realized I had only been sleeping for two hours and thought, "forget it."
When I did wake at 9:47am, I was disappointed, but went along with the day as I had planned. I ate and prayed, then readied myself to travel by train to the Baha'i House of Worship in Wilmette. My friend Jeremy sings with the choir on Sundays, and I both desired to hear the choir and see him. I have not figured out how to be punctual with this public transit system, especially long distance. Unfortunately, the train route has been under construction, and there were extra delays today, making me miss the performance. (I haven't made to one yet). When I called Jeremy to see if he was still there, I found he had stayed home sick. So, I arrived at the temple and ascended the steps, found a seat inside, and began to pray.
It's a wonderful place to be, that temple. The energy inside and around it is indescribable. The peace my heart feels is something I've tried to mimic in my daily life. I am discovering that prayer is one of the ways to accomplish this. I am not sure how long I stayed in the temple today, but I realized quite a few things as I meditated.
I need prayer like I need food. That is one of the messages fasting is known to send, and I am truly receiving it. I don't know how I've survived with so little daily spiritual nourishment up to this point. I also need to nourish my body better than I have. I have been exercising semi-regularly and dabbling in nutritional research, but I think I should kick my devotion up a notch. Physical health is not just a good idea, it's imperative.
Two books I've picked up for nutritional reading that I've found most intriguing:
Fit for Life, by Harvey and Marilyn Diamond
I'll have the Fruit & Grains Please! by Victoria Leith
So, already I am benefiting from this time of reflection and restraint. I am looking forward to the next eighteen days. :)
The first day of the Fast, for me, was not picture perfect. I did not wake before dawn to pray and eat, as was my intent. I have been suffering from insomnia for the past month and last night was no exception. I did not fall asleep until about 3:00am and somehow I missed the 5:00am alarm. I am guessing my subconscious mind realized I had only been sleeping for two hours and thought, "forget it."
When I did wake at 9:47am, I was disappointed, but went along with the day as I had planned. I ate and prayed, then readied myself to travel by train to the Baha'i House of Worship in Wilmette. My friend Jeremy sings with the choir on Sundays, and I both desired to hear the choir and see him. I have not figured out how to be punctual with this public transit system, especially long distance. Unfortunately, the train route has been under construction, and there were extra delays today, making me miss the performance. (I haven't made to one yet). When I called Jeremy to see if he was still there, I found he had stayed home sick. So, I arrived at the temple and ascended the steps, found a seat inside, and began to pray.
It's a wonderful place to be, that temple. The energy inside and around it is indescribable. The peace my heart feels is something I've tried to mimic in my daily life. I am discovering that prayer is one of the ways to accomplish this. I am not sure how long I stayed in the temple today, but I realized quite a few things as I meditated.
I need prayer like I need food. That is one of the messages fasting is known to send, and I am truly receiving it. I don't know how I've survived with so little daily spiritual nourishment up to this point. I also need to nourish my body better than I have. I have been exercising semi-regularly and dabbling in nutritional research, but I think I should kick my devotion up a notch. Physical health is not just a good idea, it's imperative.
Two books I've picked up for nutritional reading that I've found most intriguing:
Fit for Life, by Harvey and Marilyn Diamond
I'll have the Fruit & Grains Please! by Victoria Leith
So, already I am benefiting from this time of reflection and restraint. I am looking forward to the next eighteen days. :)
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