Sunday, November 19, 2006

Si Vovieras A Mi

I am more than all this paper pushing, analying, accounting...selling...irrigation product. I am creative, artistic, extremely talented. I am intrigued with the way things work, the human body, machines and I'm good with numbers...just not all that interested. I have an impeccable memory, when I feel the need to remember...the details are insane. I love the sciences. I am an intellectual, but a particular kind which I cannot identify. I just know that I'm different. Everyone's different, actually. Not everyone attempts to discover this. I am being shown, as if I'd begun slipping into a coma of mediocrity, that I have the ability to become what I dream of...and more.

These past years have helped me grow spiritually in ways I cannot describe verbally. Maybe in a painting, or a song. I've witnessed small miracles of nature, of character in my friends and loved ones. I've seen epiphanies reached in those around me and within myself. We are supporting each other and climbing heights together. Thank God for all that I have witnessed. I've become a Reiki healer, which required an attunement that is a simple ceremony to open me up as a channel for divine healing/energy. I can help...I have been granted a gift, a privelage such as this. It feels wonderful to serve people in this way. I am growing into something I admired.

I've grown in character as well...I've found myself. The fundamental self, seperate from the roles I've taken on and the demands they carry. Self-awareness and identity are so precious. I cannot believe I'd forgotten who I am, yet I knew I was always searching. Now that I'm discovering myself, I am empowered. I feel likened to a blinding rainbow of colors bursting from this body. I am so much more...and my soul quivers with excitement.

I will be a great intellectual artist, carving a path of wonder and inspiration to others. I am something amazing and I am being encouraged (pretty much forcefully) to show it and live it. The things/people that have held me back or distracted me have been taken away for the time being...sadly. It seemed to be the only way to get me to focus...sadly. Seeing as I've been knocked over the head with a hammer (when all else failed), I will heed the message and rise above my doubts to pursue my dreams. Maybe some of what has been taken will return after I fulfull this calling...it would be lovely. The future looks so bright, however, I think I'll be ok regardless.

Thursday, November 02, 2006

Wish upon a star

doing alright
been dressing very "me" lately
and I like that
at work, I dress how my employer wants
then I come home and put all my earrings back in and my "me" clothes on
this is why I don't belong in this type of work

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I think in motion. I need music to be inspired artistically. Music is motion. Thought is motion. Animation is most likely the best way for me to express my ideas.

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I am a genius