Back in the game it looks like. My goal to relocate to Cleveland, that is. It involves a lot of pieces coming together as well as me keeping my mind from making me run away from the whole idea. My soft deadline is the end of August this year.
One of the pieces needed is a car to be able to live in Ohio again. I bought one on my birthday and have been driving for Uber to help pay for it. Doing this in addition to my day job is trying, especially when I get depressed over my own situation and then I hear the shallowness of the world in my backseat. It's hard to keep hope these days.
Had a heart to heart with my best Chicago friend, also Uber driver, and he suggested I try writing about my fares to cope. After we finished hanging out, I decided to try picking up a few fares...
A lovely couple ending their night early due to two little ones at home. The guy loved how leg roomy and impeccably clean my car is.
A quiet girl ending her night heading home. Making plans with her significant other the phone. Guess they were gonna stay in and order dinner once he got an Uber to her place.
A group of three on their way to a party they were reluctant to go to. One of them flat out dreading it due to old drama. Talked about some guy who makes half a million in bonuses per year by selling insurance and how insanely jealous they were and wanted him to pay their loans.
Just enough to get my feet wet. I was near home so decided to take advantage and rest for tomorrow.
Saturday, May 20, 2017
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Week 2: Freeletics Improvements Already!
I've been slacking on the blog, but posting on Twitter. Improvements already! I can't believe it....
Day 2 of Week 1: So sore after first day, break yesterday, workout today. Did fine once I began. Improvements already. Stickin' to it!
Day 3 of Week 1: Little by little. One of these days I'll do a sit-up...and it's going to shock the crap out of me when it happens. :)
Day 1 of Week 2: Nearing full sit-up. Mid-back came off the floor 6 times!!!...then back to crunches. Good squats and push-ups too! :)
Day 2 of Week 2: I did SEVEN REAL sit-ups tonight! WOO!!!...then 136 crunches. :) Not bad for a bit over a week of working at this. :D
I can hardly believe I achieved 7 sit-ups after just over a week of this program. I guess all this kicking butt is bound to have such rapid pay-offs. I am astounded at how much my body has been able to do here in the beginning. And there's more to come! Already noticing a flattening of the round belly that's gradually developed over my past couple years of having a desk job. I'm doing very well with push-ups too, even though I still have to modify them with bended knees. Squats...I'm just impressed I can do so many, and now I'm able to do them without modifying how low I go.
This is awesome. There's no stopping me! :)
Day 2 of Week 1: So sore after first day, break yesterday, workout today. Did fine once I began. Improvements already. Stickin' to it!
Day 3 of Week 1: Little by little. One of these days I'll do a sit-up...and it's going to shock the crap out of me when it happens. :)
Day 1 of Week 2: Nearing full sit-up. Mid-back came off the floor 6 times!!!...then back to crunches. Good squats and push-ups too! :)
Day 2 of Week 2: I did SEVEN REAL sit-ups tonight! WOO!!!...then 136 crunches. :) Not bad for a bit over a week of working at this. :D
I can hardly believe I achieved 7 sit-ups after just over a week of this program. I guess all this kicking butt is bound to have such rapid pay-offs. I am astounded at how much my body has been able to do here in the beginning. And there's more to come! Already noticing a flattening of the round belly that's gradually developed over my past couple years of having a desk job. I'm doing very well with push-ups too, even though I still have to modify them with bended knees. Squats...I'm just impressed I can do so many, and now I'm able to do them without modifying how low I go.
This is awesome. There's no stopping me! :)
Monday, August 19, 2013
Freeletics - Day 1 of 15 weeks
So, I've begun a 15 week challenge called Freeletics. Starting today, I will be doing an intensive bodyweight-only workout 4 times a week. Today was Day 1. I am exhausted and I feel like I suck. I could've sworn I had more strength than I do, especially in the abs. I guess not, since I couldn't do more than 5 push-ups and couldn't do a single sit-up. The first 4 weeks of this workout has me doing burpees, which look great when you're able to do them...but I cannot right now. I had to take a lot of pauses and drink water. I was drenched with sweat and I had trouble at times getting myself to keep going. BUT, even though I had to modify my sit-ups and burpees, I did ALL the repetitions required in the workout. I should be proud of that.
Another thing I noticed was that throughout this entire workout, my ankles were not swollen at all. Because they are flat, and one of them is partially fused, I'm used to them being swollen to some degree everyday. So, to see that they were not swollen during a workout is very significant. I'm hoping this is a sign that working out will improve my ankles.
After the workout, even though I was super tired, I had a lot of water, stretched my muscles, and did two rounds of my Tai Chi. Oh, and I took a couple ibuprofen for what I knew was coming. I feel like this "cool down" ritual would be important to ease the impact of what I'd just done.
Now to see how sore I am in the morning....oh and to take a photo of myself so I have something to compare to later on.
In the meantime, I'll have this guy's video to keep me motivated...
QUICK FOLLOW-UP: It's the next morning and I had feared this exercising would give me more struggle with upper body tension than I already experience. I'm surprised to say I woke up feeling more relaxed than I have been. Well, I guess I have nothing to lose then! :)
Another thing I noticed was that throughout this entire workout, my ankles were not swollen at all. Because they are flat, and one of them is partially fused, I'm used to them being swollen to some degree everyday. So, to see that they were not swollen during a workout is very significant. I'm hoping this is a sign that working out will improve my ankles.
After the workout, even though I was super tired, I had a lot of water, stretched my muscles, and did two rounds of my Tai Chi. Oh, and I took a couple ibuprofen for what I knew was coming. I feel like this "cool down" ritual would be important to ease the impact of what I'd just done.
Now to see how sore I am in the morning....oh and to take a photo of myself so I have something to compare to later on.
In the meantime, I'll have this guy's video to keep me motivated...
QUICK FOLLOW-UP: It's the next morning and I had feared this exercising would give me more struggle with upper body tension than I already experience. I'm surprised to say I woke up feeling more relaxed than I have been. Well, I guess I have nothing to lose then! :)
And I'm Back!
Ok...definitely fell off the blog wagon. Life happened all at once with intensity, with all the laughing, crying, wanting to be dying drama. But, I survived, dusted myself off, life is going on and I'm more determined than ever to keep living it well. I'm drawing again (even when I'm depressed), I'm doing Tai Chi again (more on this miracle later!), I'm finally teaching myself drums, I'm even starting a 15 week strength/endurance workout to get in shape again. (I may be skinny, but I'm so not in shape.) Also, I have fully accepted my depression and am not ashamed to tell people that it's a part of my life. I'm learning to work through it and be patient with it, and as I said I'm beginning to draw it. I feel this is the beginning of a new phase revealing the potential I've known has always been in me. Here goes.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Run Rabbit
working on my art is the only thing in this world that makes me feel alive and fills the emptiness this life brings.
it's why I was so on fire about art school after hitting bottom back in Toledo
if I stop...I really do feel like a loser.
I've chosen to be an 'expert' on SOMETHING in this life.
just seems wrong to let it slide.
which is why I feel like a loser when I do...because I'm ignoring this awesome thing.
it's what calls my soul out into view
I feel like if I ignore it...I disappear.
and that people don't really see me.
and that I don't either.
we all see what I do for a living. we all see what I do for hobbies.
but not what is truly my heart and soul passion.
my zest.
I can't turn my back on it. can't let fear and lack of confidence stop me.
shut up big monster, this little girl must speak.
"[Her] heels hitting heavily on the pavement at first but with an effortless gathering out of a kind of sweet panic growing lighter and quicker and quieter, [she] runs. Ah: runs. Runs." -Rabbit Run
it's why I was so on fire about art school after hitting bottom back in Toledo
if I stop...I really do feel like a loser.
I've chosen to be an 'expert' on SOMETHING in this life.
just seems wrong to let it slide.
which is why I feel like a loser when I do...because I'm ignoring this awesome thing.
it's what calls my soul out into view
I feel like if I ignore it...I disappear.
and that people don't really see me.
and that I don't either.
we all see what I do for a living. we all see what I do for hobbies.
but not what is truly my heart and soul passion.
my zest.
I can't turn my back on it. can't let fear and lack of confidence stop me.
shut up big monster, this little girl must speak.
"[Her] heels hitting heavily on the pavement at first but with an effortless gathering out of a kind of sweet panic growing lighter and quicker and quieter, [she] runs. Ah: runs. Runs." -Rabbit Run
Monday, January 05, 2009
Still Alive
It has taken me four months to motivate myself to blog about the happenings in my life. It is not from lack of content, rather lack of focus that has kept me from posting anything. My attention has been scattered in many directions since about May last year...last year, wow. Yesterday was the year anniversary of my moving to Chicago. What has happened in that year? Only my life changing inside out from the way it used to be, plunging me into everywhere but my comfort zone.
Aside from getting to know a whole new city with its inner social and transportation workings, I started from scratch in making friends, lived in three different roommate situations, worked two different jobs, and learned that the death of a professor/mentor I had known for just a few months here could still impact me traumatically. I have learned that establishing goals is easy for me, but planning for them, and therefore executing them, is something I absolutely need to work on. I have learned how little I can live on financially without feeling deprived. I have learned how important family truly is and how crippling extended solitude can be. I have learned how much I value the holidays, as I had to spend all three of them alone or at work...at the same time I learned how to see the magic in solitary experiences. I have learned that I can be generous with my services, if not with my money, and that people appreciate that so much more. I have discovered that love truly has no boundaries.
I have grown a lot. It has been very uncomfortable, but then, what kind of change isn't at some level? I was happy with the woman I had become up until moving here. Nevertheless, having survived the trials of the past year and learning from them instead of cursing my reactions to them, I have continued surprising myself. I thank God for the tests of my patience, strength, compassion, and my love for humanity. Even if during those tests I pleaded mercy, I realized their hidden benefits afterward. Yes, I have broken a few academic eggs in the process, but I am bouncing back with renewed determination for success. No more procrastination, no more crippling fear of failure, and no more abstinence from knitting in the middle of a stressful quarter - it really does maintain my sanity as a form of meditation...and I am making a lot of loved ones warmer with the things I make for them.
Speaking of which, I have some slippers to make for my father with the yarn I bought on sale today. I find great joy in maintaining a hobby I love while not breaking my checking account over it. It is nice to be easily pleased. It is cheaper too.
School starts up again in a week. I hope to post again sooner than April.
"If God is a DJ, Life is a dance floor; Love is the rhythm, You are the music." -Pink
---
Aside from getting to know a whole new city with its inner social and transportation workings, I started from scratch in making friends, lived in three different roommate situations, worked two different jobs, and learned that the death of a professor/mentor I had known for just a few months here could still impact me traumatically. I have learned that establishing goals is easy for me, but planning for them, and therefore executing them, is something I absolutely need to work on. I have learned how little I can live on financially without feeling deprived. I have learned how important family truly is and how crippling extended solitude can be. I have learned how much I value the holidays, as I had to spend all three of them alone or at work...at the same time I learned how to see the magic in solitary experiences. I have learned that I can be generous with my services, if not with my money, and that people appreciate that so much more. I have discovered that love truly has no boundaries.
I have grown a lot. It has been very uncomfortable, but then, what kind of change isn't at some level? I was happy with the woman I had become up until moving here. Nevertheless, having survived the trials of the past year and learning from them instead of cursing my reactions to them, I have continued surprising myself. I thank God for the tests of my patience, strength, compassion, and my love for humanity. Even if during those tests I pleaded mercy, I realized their hidden benefits afterward. Yes, I have broken a few academic eggs in the process, but I am bouncing back with renewed determination for success. No more procrastination, no more crippling fear of failure, and no more abstinence from knitting in the middle of a stressful quarter - it really does maintain my sanity as a form of meditation...and I am making a lot of loved ones warmer with the things I make for them.
Speaking of which, I have some slippers to make for my father with the yarn I bought on sale today. I find great joy in maintaining a hobby I love while not breaking my checking account over it. It is nice to be easily pleased. It is cheaper too.
School starts up again in a week. I hope to post again sooner than April.
"If God is a DJ, Life is a dance floor; Love is the rhythm, You are the music." -Pink
---
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Faith is my Floatation Device
Less than a week later, I can see the possibility that my chaotic life could take on some order in the near future. I sure hope so because the past five weeks have been nothing short of hell.
My last job sucked away every chance I had at staying positive during this employed student life I now lead. I have fallen behind in my schoolwork due to lack of free time to work on my projects and pure exhaustion, which made me sleep longer than usual. My new job, which I started last Sunday, seems to promise a more stable situation. I can choose how much I work, I get a break during my shift, and I get to leave according to my scheduled time. This means predictability of free time. I am also working much nearer to my school, which allows me to spend more time on campus working on my projects and less time traveling. I will have to make extra effort to catch up on my assignments, but it's certainly doable with determination and focus.
In the midst of this, I feel peace in prayer and what I can guess to be meditation. Just sitting on train on the way to work, closed eyes and slow breathing, just feeling my own spirit within and knowing it is immune to the outer pressures of this world. It's helped me find balance.
I cannot wait to be caught up. It's exciting to see the things I've done so far. I am an animator. Making images move and is a wonderful feeling. I have created characters out of nothing and breathed life into them making them lovable, despicable, or awesome. What an amazing gift this is. I want to master these skills as quickly as possible. It's addictive.
My last job sucked away every chance I had at staying positive during this employed student life I now lead. I have fallen behind in my schoolwork due to lack of free time to work on my projects and pure exhaustion, which made me sleep longer than usual. My new job, which I started last Sunday, seems to promise a more stable situation. I can choose how much I work, I get a break during my shift, and I get to leave according to my scheduled time. This means predictability of free time. I am also working much nearer to my school, which allows me to spend more time on campus working on my projects and less time traveling. I will have to make extra effort to catch up on my assignments, but it's certainly doable with determination and focus.
In the midst of this, I feel peace in prayer and what I can guess to be meditation. Just sitting on train on the way to work, closed eyes and slow breathing, just feeling my own spirit within and knowing it is immune to the outer pressures of this world. It's helped me find balance.
I cannot wait to be caught up. It's exciting to see the things I've done so far. I am an animator. Making images move and is a wonderful feeling. I have created characters out of nothing and breathed life into them making them lovable, despicable, or awesome. What an amazing gift this is. I want to master these skills as quickly as possible. It's addictive.
Friday, August 08, 2008
Better
A quick update on my situation due to this horrendous hour of the morning alongside the need to announce things are better than my last post.
My last day at the ice cream store is this afternoon. I was hired at the job my roommate recommended and am certain it will yield a friendlier schedule. I will be one of those annoying people tourists find at the city attractions who corral them into group photos and try to sell a photo package after their tour. It's higher pay than the ice cream store and it's in the downtown area, so I can access school either before or after work, which will allow me more time to work on my projects and less time on the transit. Whew!
My professors have been amazing during these first few weeks of the quarter. I have kept them informed of the strains work has put on my study time and they've given me more breaks than I could have asked for. I will most certainly be able to pull through now that this new job is underway. I am very excited about finally being on track.
I've organized my room a bit differently, setting up the milk crates in a bookshelf fashion. Even that improved the look of the room. Yesterday my awesome roommates and I had a roommate pow wow, which involved installing screens in our windows and discussions about sharing the fridge, pantry shelves, and cleaning duties. How wonderful to have a screen in my window, allowing me to let fresh air in minus the bugs. Before this luxury, I was running a small fan during the night for airflow which did the trick but also neutralized the beep from my alarm in the morning. It was always a crap shoot as to if I'd hear it.
I do not know for sure when I can bring my stuff here from the storage garage in Toledo, but I've set a goal to figure out how to do it before mid-September. I have quite a few things aside from my own furniture that would be great to have here. My roommates are looking forward to my working vacuum cleaner, for instance. :)
I have set down my knitting for now and taken up reading books on the transit. This is a nice little change and I've been wanting to find time to read non-school books. A friend from Toledo visited a couple weeks ago and we stopped into a used book store where we found two copies of Tess of the d'Ubervilles. Neither of us have read this novel but have wanted to (knowing it's not a happy tale), so we both bought a copy and vowed to discuss our individual progress. We are a miniature book club.
Also, I have remembered my daily prayers. This has been missing, and I know from past experiences that when things get rough, I usually find this corresponding with lack of prayer. Not that prayer keeps the bad days away, but it certainly makes them more tolerable and solutions more visible. I believe my renewed commitment is helping.
I feel balance is near. Maybe one day I can have a little thing called free time and phone a friend for dinner.
My last day at the ice cream store is this afternoon. I was hired at the job my roommate recommended and am certain it will yield a friendlier schedule. I will be one of those annoying people tourists find at the city attractions who corral them into group photos and try to sell a photo package after their tour. It's higher pay than the ice cream store and it's in the downtown area, so I can access school either before or after work, which will allow me more time to work on my projects and less time on the transit. Whew!
My professors have been amazing during these first few weeks of the quarter. I have kept them informed of the strains work has put on my study time and they've given me more breaks than I could have asked for. I will most certainly be able to pull through now that this new job is underway. I am very excited about finally being on track.
I've organized my room a bit differently, setting up the milk crates in a bookshelf fashion. Even that improved the look of the room. Yesterday my awesome roommates and I had a roommate pow wow, which involved installing screens in our windows and discussions about sharing the fridge, pantry shelves, and cleaning duties. How wonderful to have a screen in my window, allowing me to let fresh air in minus the bugs. Before this luxury, I was running a small fan during the night for airflow which did the trick but also neutralized the beep from my alarm in the morning. It was always a crap shoot as to if I'd hear it.
I do not know for sure when I can bring my stuff here from the storage garage in Toledo, but I've set a goal to figure out how to do it before mid-September. I have quite a few things aside from my own furniture that would be great to have here. My roommates are looking forward to my working vacuum cleaner, for instance. :)
I have set down my knitting for now and taken up reading books on the transit. This is a nice little change and I've been wanting to find time to read non-school books. A friend from Toledo visited a couple weeks ago and we stopped into a used book store where we found two copies of Tess of the d'Ubervilles. Neither of us have read this novel but have wanted to (knowing it's not a happy tale), so we both bought a copy and vowed to discuss our individual progress. We are a miniature book club.
Also, I have remembered my daily prayers. This has been missing, and I know from past experiences that when things get rough, I usually find this corresponding with lack of prayer. Not that prayer keeps the bad days away, but it certainly makes them more tolerable and solutions more visible. I believe my renewed commitment is helping.
I feel balance is near. Maybe one day I can have a little thing called free time and phone a friend for dinner.
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